<<<< Gifts >>>>

I dont have to prove anything to you

i see your face in a window every time

i look in a mirror with keys and locks



i get no good feeling from knowing

you get yours; those good feelings



slep well my brothersister.

you'll wake up under a brighter sun

and forget that i was ever here.



and i'll wake up in my cold, that

i've so longed for

and forget that i was ever there..



its not a race for enlightenment, or happiness or

any of these things we seek in eachother; humans that is.

i dont turn my head for that home stretch just to see how

far ahead you are or i am.



part of living is starting to not care what happens to others.

sure, life is good, and life all around, happy lives, can be great

but in 70 years, we hope that the mechanisms we fight for today

will be at full speed working towards a better tomorrow.



because its our duty as living organisms?

why? we're not going to be around to see that day.

to make sure that our children's children arent murdered?



if you're going to raise kids, raise them well.

teach them how to be cautious, fast, streetsmart,

and above all else, teach them how to raise theirs.

after all, is it the gene pool we care about, or just ours?



the world could end in one hundred and fifty years. and none of us

none of us alive at this very moment, would know.

are we really busting our asses for some future we have, in fact,

no control over? just so we can die, knowing that we did good?



that we helped our fellow man, either today or in those tomorrowland?

that we'll be remembered, and have our name cut into marble steps

that we hope generations will walk over and on, being constantly

reminded of your name, your purpose and your game?



thats not the kind of immortality we need: not that we can

have any kind in the first place. if anything, immortal life is

knowing that i can wake up, and not worry about

striving to leave some kind of gift behind after i pass.



i'll take my morning coffee one way and one way only:

made by my love.



anything else that happens,

is just something to distract us from how often we

should stop and just breathe.



that within the volume of our lungs is a universe in itself,

and we hold our breath close, saving it for that very sigh

of relief when we change lanes without dying, or come,

or win a fight, or an argument, or when we know there is

nothing that can truly stop our love.



remember those people who were the victims of the DC sniper?

imagine how it must have felt....

to be filling up your gas, thinking that the world is a beautiful/

shitty place and how much we do(not) want to see our family at home.

and that you hope you have enough money on your card to pay for

all these gallons since your car has less gas mil-



*



and then its gone. and you dont even know it.

you can't react to it. you dont even have time for you to recognize

that you're dying. you wont come back as a ghost; there is no

lingering consciousness. there is no point at which you can look back

to this life and regret, or to wish you had just one more second.



if you do believe in spirits and souls, dont pretend for one second

that you'll have any recollection of this life.

if anything, it'll be a dream. some weird sense of deja vu.

that once, a long time ago, at this very place, you had a dream

of being a living human, whatever that word means. you had a name too...



whats a name?





thats not a gift i want... but to be stuck in one eternal thought,

is just some food for, ....well, thought.



speaking of food, i think i'm going to go for a drive.

you know, one of those really fast ones.

to slow music.

i'm on a quest to find my good jacket.the one with the deteriorating leather and the holes in the pockets.

and this quest is everything.

until i finish it, it is everything, and nothing exists outside of it.

after that... i think i'll try to find my love. she's somewhere.



i hope she reads this. and knows that my third eye finds it hard to draw itself away from her.



anyways, have a nice day, guys and gals.

as different as we all are, you're probably my friends.

seeing that this is facebook and whatnot.

but if a stranger does happen to find their way to it,

i'll find a way to meet you after i die. :P not.

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